What I Want for My Future Child

Time flies so surprisingly fast. It just dawned on me that I’ll be a father in three months; my wife, Cza, is already 26 weeks into her pregnancy. There’s a lot of pressure, but I hope that my kid can be proud to have me as a father. It’s of prime importance that my child knows my limitations as a person with disabilities (PwD) as early as possible. So, I’m dedicating this column to what I want to share with my future child.

I would like my child to understand the difficulties that people with mental and physical disabilities face. I pray that this understanding will lead my child to become an empathetic, compassionate person. I also hope that seeing me in tough situations can help build character. I want my kid to develop resilience by seeing me face my difficulties as a PwD.

I feel anxious that I may not always be around in times of need, but I’ll try my best to make up for it. As much as I want to be a protector and provider, my illnesses make me feel trapped. I worry that may create a rift between us because daddy won’t always be there.

A special kind of family

I’ve already planned some ways to make up for what I can’t do. I can be a good listener, play simple games, and do the occasional daring thing to make my child feel loved. I’ll also share my experiences of growing up with chronic illnesses. I don’t want my child to pity me. It’s important that they understand that life isn’t always pretty. They shouldn’t have to get bogged down when things don’t go their way.

I may sometimes get incapacitated by bleeds or seizures, but I want my child to understand that it’s OK when things can get messy. I constantly think of more creative ways that my child and I can connect despite my limitations. My kid may occasionally feel bad for me because I have chronic illnesses, but I would never want to make them feel guilty for my hard life. I want to assure them that they’re a blessing by simply being a part of my life to love and care for. That alone makes me feel proud as a father.

As much as I want to be a superhero for my kid, I don’t know if a parent with hemophilia and epilepsy can make the cut, but I promise I’ll still be the best father I can be.

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