It May Seem Counterintuitive, but Rest Is Productive, Too
In the past few weeks, I haven’t been feeling as productive as I normally do in terms of work. In fact, as I type this, I’m sitting in front of my brand-new work desk in a sports top and ripped jeans — not my usual outfit when I’m about to go out.
(Oh, did I say going out? I do have some business errands, or shall I say chores, and a small clothing line to launch. But never mind that.)
My husband, Jared, and I have been doing great in terms of home improvements, though. Our walls are freshly painted white, and our main room has a relaxing ambience. I’m slowly decluttering my things, and my desk is no longer as messy as it has been my entire life. This is much better for my wandering mind and short attention span.
I’ve been spending much of my free time staring into space, drifting off into some reverie inspired by the objects from my past that I’ve been trying (and failing) to declutter. Some things inevitably will be trashed. And with them come the feelings of regret, the temptation to hold on to things that no longer serve me. That takes up a lot of mental space, and before long, I’m completely spent.
My mind tends to tease me with the thought that, “I will get to use [so-and-so] eventually, maybe in three or four years.” But the reality is that in that time span, I probably will forget about it or buy something else.
My memory rewinds to a time when things seemed so much simpler. As a teenager, I would go into bookstores whenever I felt sad or stressed. Then I would hoard stationery and other office supplies and instantly enjoy a mood boost. Temporary as it was, it felt blissful. And so, in that way, I managed to acquire stacks and stacks of notebooks, pens, and other stuff.
Now, things are no longer so simple. My priorities have changed. I am married now and have a daughter, and my husband has hemophilia and a seizure disorder. In order to live like everyone else, he must medicate. Expensive medications top the list of our family’s needs. I recognize that I need to earn money, so I spend a lot of time working, even if it means doing repetitive chores.
People tend to hype small businesses as a way to “keep pursuing your passions” or to “have fun without really working,” but while this is partly true, a much bigger component of entrepreneurship is discipline, which means working even if things seem mundane or even bleak.
Additionally, with the fast-paced lifestyle of an entrepreneur, burnout is always just around the corner.
I admit that I might be feeling a bit depressed and badly in need of rest. At the same time, I also feel guilty for wanting to disconnect from the world and connect to my truest self instead.
Because we are jewelers, my husband and I came up with an analogy that compares people to certain gemstones. There is a saying in the business that “diamonds are formed under pressure,” but diamonds are also expensive and don’t increase much in value. While considered precious, they’re primarily intended for connoisseurs and wealthy people.
Likewise, one can become a better person under pressure, but only if they find pressure to be motivational. This shouldn’t be taken as gospel, because not everyone thrives under pressure.
As entrepreneurs and persons with disabilities, my husband and I prefer to be like moissanites: formed in a lab under controlled conditions, but still sparkly and classy. And if those controlled conditions involve resting for a while to restore our momentum, nothing’s going to stop us from doing so.
For now, I’ve decided to do more of the things I love, such as art and music, and worry less about work. Hopefully, this helps me get back on track soon.
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.