What my husband learned about parenting with empathy, reflection
The other day, I watched my husband, Jared, handle a parenting moment in a way that surprised me. He didn’t scold or lecture our young daughter. He didn’t swoop in with a tidy “lesson…
HemoWife — Allyx Formalejo
Allyx Formalejo, or Cza, is a writer, entrepreneur, and digital marketer based in Marikina, Philippines. She is married to Jared, who has severe hemophilia B and a seizure disorder. They have a young daughter and two other “babies” — a dog and a cat. Cza herself is diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar II disorder. This allows her to offer a unique perspective on navigating various aspects of young adult life (e.g. relationships, career, and parenting) with chronic health conditions. In her free time, she enjoys collecting fountain pens, supporting small businesses, traveling across the country, and exploring local cafes. She continues to blog like most 90s kids did in the Internet’s early years, sharing her thoughts and interesting discoveries on her personal website, czaofalltrades.com.
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Giving ourselves permission to take a rest is vital
Some days, my husband, Jared, who has severe hemophilia B, is unstoppable. He’ll haul a heavy plant pot across the living room, rearrange furniture, or even knock out a workout that would leave…
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Hemophilia care in the Philippines: Stories from the provinces
When I traveled with HAPLOS, the Hemophilia Philippines Foundation, about six years ago to visit families with bleeding disorders in rural provinces, I expected hardship. What I didn’t expect was how drastically the…
Going wide with ‘HemoWife,’ and more, on a social media channel
Lately, I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a social media channel that captures slices of my everyday life. On the surface, that might not sound unusual. Plenty of people create online spaces…
The effects of growing up with a chronically ill parent
Kids have a way of flattening the extraordinary into the ordinary. My 6-year-old daughter once scraped her knee, looked down at the blood, and calmly said, “Like Daddy, because he bleeds.” Then there was…
Harm reduction strategies for teens with hemophilia
The other day, I asked my husband, Jared, if he’d ever consider leading a harm reduction seminar for the teens in his hemophilia organization. His immediate response was, “Of course —…
5 things I’m grateful for in our life with hemophilia
Some days it’s easy to see the cracks in our family’s situation — the unpredictable costs, the logistics of keeping medication on hand, the mental load of being a partner to someone with…
Our chronic conditions have helped, not hurt, in finding purpose
All my life, I’ve chased achievement. It made me crave purpose. I was once a “gifted child,” even called a genius by the Philippine Daily Inquirer — and briefly, I was a commercial…
When I’m hyperfocused and need to ‘help,’ I lean on mindfulness
As someone with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, I crave a challenge. It doesn’t even have to be a significant one, just something that gives me a little feeling of accomplishment. A small win early…
Even with hemophilia, it’s possible to have high standards for love
People often assume that loving someone with hemophilia — and in my husband’s case, epilepsy, too — must come with endless patience, unshakable optimism, and the kind of soft, gentle pity we reserve…
The hidden value of living with hemophilia
My husband, Jared, and I both have marketing backgrounds. We’re used to thinking in terms of value. In branding, you ask: What makes this product worth noticing? What problem does it solve? Why should…
When hospitals aren’t prepared for bleeding disorders
The other day, I found an old document from my husband Jared’s last hospital stay — the one after his freak accident on a pool slide. I’d written about it before, but seeing…
