HemoWife - a Column by Allyx Formalejo

I will not baby my husband. I will not carry all the weight on my shoulders just because he is “sick.” His disability does not mean that he is brittle. He has the capacity to grow, develop, and become more resilient over time. But that is something he won’t be able…

Let me tell you one of my secrets: I have anxiety. I don’t mean the kind of anxiety you’d feel if a package hadn’t arrived days past a delivery date. Or if you were lost in an unfamiliar place at night trying to find your way home. That kind of…

I’m looking at you, insurance companies and banks who won’t approve people who have a history of chronic illness or who were born with one — such as my husband, who has hemophilia. Of course, I am looking at this from a different perspective than the one businesses take. Then…

It’s almost 11 in the morning. My husband Jared and I are lined up at the mall-based satellite branch of our national health insurance system. By now, the mall has been open just less than an hour, but there must be a hundred or so people already, impatiently awaiting their…

Last week, just after our wedding, Jared got a shoulder bleed. Jared has severe hemophilia B, but he does not get bleeds often. When he does, it’s almost like a vacation from things, a sign that we need to take things more slowly. When the bleed clots,…

In a week’s time, I’ll be a 20-something married woman. I’ll be transitioning from my current “single” civil status to writing “married” on government forms. Just a few days ago, I had the sudden realization that I won’t be using my current name for much longer. Soon, I’ll be taking…

“Help, my partner has hemophilia! What now?” I’ve been dating a person with hemophilia for four years. In those years, we’ve had a lot of memorable experiences together, but as his carer, I have also faced struggles. I’ll be honest and say that being a HemoGirlfriend isn’t exactly a…

My partner Jared and I are confined to our bed. He got a small ankle bleed from tripping on an uneven sidewalk yesterday, whereas I woke up with a terrible case of nausea — just as I thought my morning sickness was starting to improve. Apparently, I have good days…

My mother passed away a month ago. I thought I’d be ready after six years of dealing with her condition. I was wrong. In 2012, doctors diagnosed her with diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (a blood cancer). She went into remission, but four years later, the cancer returned, this time…

When I was younger, my parents would tell me to date a particular “ideal” man. This man need not be good looking, but he’d better be a good guy — no questionable values, capable of getting along with my family — the perfect guy in the eyes of every Filipino…