Leaving, Grieving, and New Beginnings

Alliah Czarielle avatar

by Alliah Czarielle |

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After three months of living in a rented condo, my family is moving to a full-size house. My husband, Jared, and I want to think of this event as our Christmas and New Year’s blessing.

Though the change was unexpected, we welcomed it with open arms. The only hassle, albeit a minor one, was moving all of our belongings again for the second time in just a few months.

Thankfully, our experience in a condo taught us to be on our feet at all times. Our family got lots of exercise walking around the neighborhood and going back and forth from our house to the shops. Even Jared, who wasn’t used to walking and had some trouble with his ankles due to synovitis from chronic bleeding, gradually increased his step count.

The condo lifestyle also helped us learn to be flexible given the unpredictable days. Living so close to other people meant that we could get a surprise visit from a neighbor anytime. Since we also sold food to our neighbors, we were constantly cooking and delivering meals. And because we lived in such close proximity to commercial areas, it was easy for us to go out and grab whatever we needed, anytime we wished. One day, we’d stay home; the next, Jared and I would take a surprise trip downtown — on foot, of course.

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Thanks to our new learnings, the sudden need to move wasn’t too overwhelming. But we can’t help but get a little emotional about leaving one life behind to begin new one.

Today, as we were packing up the last batch of our things, Jared told me that he felt rather sentimental about leaving the condo, likely because it was the first home he and I had truly made our own. Additionally, we spent so much of our own time, effort, and resources making the place livable for our family. In the process, we both learned several new skills that we’ll take with us for the rest of our lives.

Living there may have been a hassle (there are limits to what one can do with a small space, after all), but leaving it made us sad. After all, we didn’t really have time to bid the place goodbye.

After we had processed our final exit papers, I explored the condo premises for the last time. I walked down the quiet road where our little girl, Cittie, always insisted on taking a walk, even if it was past midnight. I spent a few minutes gazing at the field where Jared, Cittie, and I would go in the afternoons to play badminton or join Cittie while she looked for playmates. In the afternoons, the field would be full of kids and their adult companions, and their laughter would ring everywhere. In the evenings, it would be a nice, quiet spot to contemplate or have an intimate chat. Jared and I spent a good number of hours there just talking while gazing at the buildings or watching the colorful Christmas lights.

As I write this, I am now in our new house, sitting next to a mountain of things that we just trucked in from the condo. My helper and I are both too tired to keep fixing up, and Jared’s synovitis has also flared. This leaves me with a bit of quiet time.

Despite feeling sad about leaving, I’m happy about our new home and excited about the possibilities living here might bring. I can’t wait to spruce it up with new furniture items we’ll buy and arrange to our liking. I’m also excited to explore our neighborhood and find things to do around town once COVID-19 cases decrease. And of course, I’m looking forward to helping Jared achieve his food enterprise dreams, beginning here at home.


Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.


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