I Find Healing in Music and a New Ukulele

Recently, I’ve taken to the ukulele. I love its diminutive size, how its four strings (versus six on a guitar) are perfect for my tiny hands, and the happy sound it produces. (Our neighborhood ukulele store is aptly named Happy Music.)

In the past month, I’ve purchased a couple of ukuleles for myself. The first one I bought was a plastic soprano version, the smallest available in most music stores. I wanted a sturdy and long-lasting instrument that would be safe around a toddler. Now that my baby girl, Cittie, is no longer an infant, she wants to touch everything in sight.

It’s no secret that I miss music. I’ve always loved singing and have dreamed of writing original songs. As a child, I was in a choir. I remember those years as some of my happiest. Depression was still years down the line. My friends and I were happy singing, playing instruments, and appreciating different forms of art.

I’ve often told my husband how much I miss singing. Oh, what I would give to perform before an audience again! I also miss playing the piano and guitar. I feared my skills may have all but disappeared after all these years of focusing on adult responsibilities. I work, take care of a baby, and run a household. What time did I have for hobbies? Add the extra caregiving tasks for my husband, Jared, who has hemophilia and epilepsy, and my plate is full. Overflowing, even.

But during a recent depressive episode, I had a lightbulb moment. If having “me time” is important for my sanity, then I should make time for my hobbies — especially those I miss the most. I also figured Cittie would appreciate having a happy mom who would sing her happy songs.

So I bought a ukulele. At first, my husband wasn’t sure he could justify the expense. I have a history of buying knickknacks I find mildly interesting, only to set them aside and forget about them.

Jared already had a ukulele given to him by his hemophilia organization. He offered it to me to try before buying a new one. But I wanted to learn on an instrument that I chose and in a size that suited my petite stature. (Jared’s ukulele is a larger tenor size, which I find too big.) He relented, and I’m thankful he did.

Jared’s hemophilia organization once had a ukulele program that offered lessons to members. The rationale was that music is therapeutic. It also would be a distraction from their illness.

Thanks to my brand new ukulele, I now understand how music can be therapeutic. When I sit down with my instrument and follow a video guide about a new technique, I am wholly immersed in what I’m doing. I have an enormous sense of fulfillment when I master a skill. And the joy I feel when I figure out the chords for the original songs I’ve composed for Cittie is tremendous.

Now I own two ukuleles. Aside from my plastic take-everywhere uke, I have a slightly bigger (concert size) wooden one. The story behind it? I strolled into Happy Music on a bad mental health day and took home the instrument whose sound I loved. Buying it made me happy. And that happiness grows every time I pick it up to strum or pluck a song.

I’ve set my sights on a couple more ukuleles — a custom uke in mango wood, and another I can paint. I’m hoping I’ll learn to play even better so I can share my newfound happiness by singing, and possibly even teaching others.

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