“Motherhood is messy. And challenging. And crazy. And sleepless. And giving. And still unbelievably beautiful.” — Rachel Martin
For me, motherhood is all of these things that blogger and author Rachel Martin suggests it is. Quite often it is tiring. Every day, I have a lengthy to-do list to tackle, and I’m almost always left with a few boxes unticked by the time I need to turn in at night.
Ever since I became a mom, I never get to sleep on time because of all of the thoughts that keep running around in my mind, even after my husband and baby have gone to bed. It’s almost as if worrying about them is part of my official job description as Mom.
And yet, despite all the stressful moments, motherhood is still one of the few things that keep me sane.
It drives me crazy sometimes when my 2-year-old screams for my attention when I’m in the middle of an important task, and doesn’t stop until I notice her. Or when she insists on doing things her own way. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel a tiny bit annoyed when she asks me to take her somewhere else when I’m tired and just want to rest.
Still, my day is never complete without that little voice calling out nonstop to Mama. After a long day of work away from our home, I’m always so excited to get back to my baby girl. I can’t wait to watch her antics or listen to her innocent and adorable little “stories,” now that she is talking. (Just hearing her talk so proudly and happily about her new stuffed animal is enough to make my day!)
Through motherhood, I can somehow manage to take my mind off other concerns, including my husband’s health. As much as I care about my husband, who has hemophilia, I know that worrying about bleeds or injuries would take a toll on my mental health.
If he does have a bleeding episode, he might not be able to help around the house as much. In turn, I would feel a bit more stressed. But being around our daughter and absorbing her infectious toddler energy is often enough to lift my spirits.
Taking care of my child also gives me something meaningful to focus on. This somehow helps alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. I just need to make sure that I’m not overworking myself or running on a too-busy schedule.
Parenthood has also introduced a form of routine and structure in my life that I never thought I needed. I’ve learned from my early days of parenting research that babies and toddlers need routines and predictability to feel secure. I never expected that it also would apply to me as a parent.
The outside world can be too much for very young children. Constant change overwhelms them even more. As a family living with chronic and mental illness, change is ever-present in our lives. My husband’s bleeding episodes may require us to adjust our daily routine, especially if the bleed is severe enough to keep him immobilized. The routines I follow as a mom give me a much-needed sense of normalcy during uncertain times.
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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