Age is a great equalizer when it comes to health woes

When my husband, Jared, was younger, he was “the sick child.” With severe hemophilia B and a seizure disorder, he stood out like a sore thumb — or a rare gem. In any case, he was distinct as the child who required special accommodations at school or who missed weeks of classes because of extended hospital stays.

Though this attention wasn’t necessarily the kind he wanted, he did, in some ways, feel special among peers.

Childhood often feels like a charmed phase of life. When we’re young, we feel almost superhuman, immune to the struggles of age and illness. Sure, we might catch the occasional cold or come down with chickenpox (or, here in the Philippines, dengue fever), but those experiences are usually fleeting. As kids, most of us aren’t worried about our long-term health. There’s a natural sense of invincibility, as though illness is something that happens to other people, not to us.

For Jared, however, illness was a constant. It shaped his reality in such ways that other children couldn’t relate. And that difference — being the only one among his peers who had serious, lifelong conditions — gave him an identity, for better or worse.

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Now that Jared is in his 30s, the landscape has changed. Age has proven to be a great equalizer. Data from a RAND study suggest that 60% of U.S. adults in the past decade are living with at least one chronic illness. While these conditions range from manageable to life-altering, most people eventually face some health challenge, whether it’s hypertension, diabetes, autoimmune disease, aging joints, or a long list of other conditions.

For Jared, this shift has been eye-opening. He no longer feels as though he’s on an island, the lone “sick person” among a sea of healthy people. As his peers have started dealing with their own health issues — bad backs, high blood pressure, or more serious diagnoses — he’s noticed that his hemophilia doesn’t feel as isolating as it once did.

Chronic illness still matters

That doesn’t mean Jared’s condition has become less important or less challenging. Hemophilia remains a central part of his life, requiring regular infusions, careful monitoring, and regular bleed management. But what has changed is the way he perceives himself and the way others perceive him.

In his younger years, his condition often made him the center of attention, whether through pity, curiosity, or concern. Now people seem less fixated on it, as they’re busy dealing with their own health issues and life challenges.

In some ways, this shift has been a relief. It’s allowed him to focus inward more often and more deeply, managing his condition for his own sake rather than navigating others’ reactions to it. While he’ll always need to advocate for himself in certain situations, the need to constantly explain or justify his condition feels less pressing now.

What Jared has found most surprising about this stage of life is the subtle connection he feels with others who are now navigating a range of their own diagnoses. While no one will fully understand what it’s like to live with hemophilia unless they’ve experienced it themselves, Jared senses a faint echo of shared experience when friends open up about their struggles with chronic pain or other conditions.

It’s not that he feels “less sick” compared with others. Chronic illness is deeply personal, and its impact varies widely. But he’s come to see how age levels the playing field, at least to some extent. While his journey with hemophilia is uniquely his own, the broader human experience of grappling with health and learning to live with our changing bodies is something almost everyone encounters eventually.

Hemophilia as part of a greater whole

These days, Jared views his hemophilia as one part of a larger picture. It’s no longer the defining trait that sets him apart; instead, it’s something he’s learned to carry alongside everything else in his life — being a father, a husband, and someone striving to live fully despite the challenges.

Age has, in its way, taken some weight off his shoulders. With illness now a more universal experience among his peers are elders, he’s gotten a sense of perspective and perhaps even a strange camaraderie with the world around him.

For Jared, this stage of life isn’t about minimizing his struggles or pretending his condition doesn’t matter. It’s about recognizing that while hemophilia will always be a part of who he is, it no longer has to define how he relates to others — or himself.

And in that, perhaps, there’s a lesson for all. Age reminds us that the experience of facing health challenges is something we all share. It’s a reminder that we’re not as alone as we might think and that there’s strength in moving forward with perspective and empathy.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.