The benefits of pride and dignity, for people with disabilities in particular

I’ve lately come to realize that pride and dignity are core values in my life, profoundly influencing my sense of self and my interactions with others. Although pride is sometimes seen as a negative trait, there’s a crucial distinction between healthy and unhealthy pride. The former allows us to feel confident and valuable, whereas the latter can lead to self-centeredness and unrealistic comparisons.

According to an old saying, “Pride goeth before a fall.” But as Thomas Scheff, PhD, argues in a Psychology Today article, that doesn’t apply to all forms of pride. Authentic pride, he explains, is often confused with excessive or false pride, also known as hubris. Healthy pride is the opposite of shame and is essential for feeling loved and accepted. Without it, we lose an important part of our self-worth.

Healthy pride is tied to the confidence, assertiveness, and satisfaction that come from knowing we’ve done our best. This type of pride is open to constructive criticism and maintains a balanced view of others’ achievements. In contrast, unhealthy pride is competitive and defensive, dismissing any feedback and building barriers. Nurturing healthy pride builds a healthy sense of dignity.

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Dignity and its forms

That dignity can come in different forms. Two that we consider are personal dignity and social dignity.

Personal dignity means holding myself to a standard that’s empowering and lives up to my values and ideals. I respect others’ boundaries and expect my own boundaries to be respected in return. This dignity fuels my desire to live by my own truth.

To me, it also includes a desire for independence. I take pride in trying my best to meet my own needs without relying on others for tasks I know that I’m capable of doing. My husband, Jared, and I share this desire for independence, even though we know that sometimes we need support.

But that doesn’t make us weak. In my case, living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and bipolar II disorder, I have moments when I have to adapt and seek help, but I also value my efforts to work within my limitations and develop my own coping strategies. Jared does the same with his severe hemophilia B and seizures. This self-sufficiency strengthens our sense of self-respect.

Social dignity is about how we view ourselves within our communities. For me, maintaining social dignity means avoiding social situations where I feel diminished. In Jared’s case, it’s about being seen as dependable and capable. He values contributing to others and being seen as someone who brings value. We also talk about social dignity as a family value that we hope to embody in our lives and instill in our daughter.

Our sense of social dignity is deeply personal. I want to be seen for who I am and the strengths I bring, not just my limitations. The same is true for Jared. When I remind him of his resilient, “can-do” spirit, I’m encouraging him to see himself as the capable person he is. We support each other, even in the face of challenges.

Building dignity and pride with a disability

The World Health Organization emphasizes that dignity and pride are not limited by disability. That applies to me and Jared, given our conditions that affect daily life. For us, developing a strong sense of pride and dignity is essential.

Integration into society plays a big role in preserving dignity for people with disabilities. It’s about being part of a community that respects everyone’s values and recognizes their individual contributions.

Within that society, all should understand that while it’s perfectly OK to ask for help, it’s not OK for others to force assistance on someone. This approach, though often well-intentioned, can feel demeaning and undermine a person’s dignity. When it’s the person with a disability’s choice to seek help, their request is empowering. It acknowledges or even embraces their limitations while affirming their autonomy and control over their needs.

Ultimately, healthy pride and dignity empower people to live fulfilling lives, no matter the circumstances. For Jared, me, and many others with disabilities, true self-worth comes from knowing who we are, what we bring to the world, and the dignity we hold within.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.