Campus resources are helping my son find the right dorm
We're grateful our son will have assistance at the University of New Mexico
My youngest son, Caeleb, received great news last week from his college, the University of New Mexico: A letter confirmed that he has a dormitory room for school next year.
When he showed the letter to my wife, Cazandra, and me, we shouted for joy. Everything associated with our upcoming move to Las Cruces, New Mexico, from the Albuquerque area appeared to come together. I’ll be the lead pastor at a new parish while Cazandra works as a hospice chaplain. Caeleb, who has hemophilia, will stay on the campus in Albuquerque.
As the family sat and talked about Caeleb’s new opportunity to live away from home for the first time, we started looking at the dorms’ floor plans to check for important matches with Caeleb’s needs, given that he has chronic pain from multiple internal bleeding episodes in his right knee and ankle. He needs to have enough space to store his mobility assistance tools (electric wheelchair, walker, and crutches). He also needs to live on the first floor or in a dorm with an easily accessible elevator.
A campus resource, the Accessibility Resource Center (ARC), helped alleviate many of our concerns. Its mission statement “recognizes individuals with disabilities as an integral part of a diverse community and is committed to the provision of comprehensive resources to the University community (faculty, staff, and student) in order to create equitable, inclusive, and practical learning environments,” according to its webpage.
Much-needed relief
We learned about ARC through a campus tour and a meeting with the student services department. It helps provide many accommodations Caeleb might need, including a reduced course load, a mental health collaborative, and cooperation from dormitory management in getting additional assistance in appropriate rooms.
Caeleb scheduled an appointment with one of the ARC counselors to discuss his needs. He was initially nervous about the meeting, but the counselor’s understanding and support put him at ease. Afterward he expressed relief that this organization could help him; in fact, he said it gave him a new determination to succeed in his academic career. He told me he felt like someone on campus had finally listened to his concerns about what he needed to finish his degree.
Looking into his eyes and seeing his relief, I felt happy.
As we returned to my car, I apologized for not searching for these essential resources earlier. “Dad,” he said, “you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad that we’ve found ARC. We have a long way to go before I graduate. This will help me stay on track.” His words were a balm to my worries, reassuring me that he was in good hands and making me feel secure about his future.
“Well, that’s the greatest news I’ve received all year,” I said, looking at him with a smile. “I’m proud of you and your work in lobbying for yourself. You’re an amazing young man.” His self-advocacy was not just a source of pride for me, but it’d also be an inspiration for others in similar situations, showing that they, too, could take control of their circumstances.
“You and Mom taught me how to find what I need,” he said. “The only reason I knew what to ask the counselor was because I watched you guys through the years. You also taught me how to order Hemlibra [emicizumab-kxwh], set up doctor appointments with the HTC [hemophilia treatment center], and find answers when I sensed something didn’t feel right.” Our family’s collective efforts in advocating for Caeleb’s needs have been instrumental in his journey.
I thanked him as we got into our car and started toward home, breathing a sigh of relief as I appreciated this strong advocate while my son lives on campus. As my wife and I prepare to move 200 miles away, the thought of living apart from my son somehow didn’t appear so scary. In addition to the friends in Albuquerque we’d met along the way, we can now add the ARC staff to those who’ll help guide our son as needed. Their support is a beacon of hope in our journey, and I’m grateful.
We often struggle to find meaning in our journey, especially when living with a disability. Sometimes, however, I catch glimpses of divine intervention as I sit back and watch the beauty unfold as things come together. I share the responsibility of ensuring that much-needed actions occur, when my family must find resources to make things possible. The beauty is watching all the dominoes fall into place, causing a beautiful chain reaction.
In these decisive moments, I look up at the heavens and say, “Thank you for letting me witness the miraculous nature of life I continue to find in my amazing son.”
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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