Do not panic: Lessons for managing bleeds and bed bugs

I bought a new mattress and anxiously awaited its delivery. At last, the furniture truck rumbled in the cul-de-sac and stopped in my driveway. Seeing my new, plush, dreamy mattress rolled up like a carpet and crinkling inside its plastic wrap was odd, but I knew it’d soon offer a good night’s sleep.

I immediately went to the bedroom and tore the quilt and pillows off the bed. When I reached over to pull the sheets off, I saw a speck. Was it a piece of lint? A fragment of fuzz from a new piece of clothing? Then it twitched, and my stomach flipped.

My mind exploded: “My house is clean! My dogs don’t even come into my room!” But moving this summer could have easily given a bed bug or two a way to travel between cities.

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Managing fear while raising a child with hemophilia

As I stared into the eyes of this terrifying bug, my heart raced. I started to panic. I felt like the people fleeing the theater when the Blob began to suck up everything in sight. (The 1958 film is a masterpiece.) A million things started running through my mind.

I know that bed bugs are not the result of a dirty home. They are found in five-star hotels and hostels alike, and can hitch a ride in your luggage to vacation in your home. I am afraid this is what happened to me on a recent trip.

After my panic subsided, I considered what I needed to do first. Then, I was on a mission to rid my home of the creepy-crawlies.

Recalling a similar moment of panic

This panic, and perhaps being on the brink of hysteria, was an all-too-familiar feeling. It transported me back to 1996 when my first son, Julian, was a baby. He had been diagnosed with severe hemophilia A, and I was scared.

How would I know if I needed to call the pediatrician or the hemophilia treatment center (HTC)? Would I know if his bruising was abnormal? What would I do if Julian had a bleed?

I had so many questions and fears, but I did my best to enjoy my precious boy. Then, one day, it happened.

Julian was about 6 months old. My mother-in-law, Ruby, was visiting our home and holding Julian as they gazed at the lights on the Christmas tree. I joined them, and when he reached out to touch a light, I noticed his hand was black and blue and the size of a tennis ball. Julian looked at me with his big, beautiful, hazel eyes as he snuggled in his grandmother’s arms. Ruby’s eyes met mine, and we both swallowed our instinct to panic. We would not scare Julian.

It was the same kind of explosion I experienced after finding the bed bugs. But on that day in 1996, I thought, “Oh, dear God, it’s a bleed! It’s happening!”

Before she died, Ruby and I had something in common: We could get angry in an instant. Flying off the handle and tossing blame around like a Frisbee was one of our “gifts.” If someone mistreated us, we immediately fired back. And if someone talked disrespectfully or treated a loved one unfairly, God be with that person if Ruby or I were around. Yet, in that moment of experiencing Julian’s first bleed together, we controlled our panic and fear for his sake.

The first step was to call the HTC. They had us go to the emergency room and bring the box of factor replacement we had in our refrigerator. I packed Julian’s toys and snacks, grabbed change for parking and the vending machine, and off we went.

The most challenging part of the night was locating someone who could access small veins. It took a few different people and several sticks, but Julian was finally infused with factor VIII, and that was all that mattered. I held him tight during those pokes, and it broke my heart, but it was the first of hundreds of infusions to come. I was relieved that the first bleed was over and I now knew what to do for my son.

The experience taught me that, whether I’m facing a bleed or bed bugs, panic won’t solve the problem. Only a plan will.

As for my unwelcome guest, he will be packing his bags. I plan for total annihilation.

Ruby would approve.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.