Embracing the empty nest as my sons step into their futures

My household is navigating a season of major change. As the family of a frequently relocating pastor, we’ve honed our adaptability, mastering the rhythm of moving with grace and resilience. This summer we’ll exhibit that adaptability again as my husband moves to a new appointment in Las Cruces, New Mexico, a couple hundred miles from our current home near Albuquerque.

Our sons are eagerly stepping into this new chapter of their lives. Our youngest, Caeleb, recently completed his first year of college in Albuquerque and is excited to live in the dorms in the fall, marking an exciting step toward his independence. Meanwhile, Julian, our oldest son, is embarking on a remote job that allows him to audition for theater across the country, a pursuit that ignites his most profound passion.

I’ve already begun planting roots in Las Cruces. In April, I started there in a hospice chaplaincy position, work that calls me to accompany people through life’s most sacred transitions. But living between two cities has challenges. The logistics are exhausting.

Recommended Reading

March 6, 2025 Columns by Joe MacDonald

Helping my youngest son plan for a dorm after leaving home

But there’s something different about this move. It’s my first when I’m no longer raising children.

I’m learning to let go.

Many parents are sad, even devastated, when their children leave home and the nest is empty. I’m excited to say that I’m thrilled to have my sons out of the house! I adore them both, but I’m so happy they’ve found pursuits that bring them joy.

The next step

From the time they were young, I’ve been working to educate my sons on the care and management of their hemophilia. Their every appointment was an opportunity to learn, be it filling out forms or understanding the basics of insurance.

The biggest challenge in every one of our moves has been finding providers, including dentists, general practitioners, and specialists. Julian is 28 and has been handling his medical care for many years. Caeleb, however, is 19 and is new at handling the care of his bleeding disorder. While his dad and I will still be in the background, occasionally checking with him regarding orders of medications and appointments, I need to empower him in all areas of his life.

For the longest time, Caeleb’s struggles with an inhibitor ruled his life. He had no passion or excitement for what would come when he left for college. In fact, there was a time I thought he wouldn’t go to college because the lasting trauma from his joint bleeds and mobility challenges would prevent it.

Now I’m eagerly anticipating the day I’ll help him move into his dorm. I’ll lovingly put sheets on his bed and lay a new handmade quilt on top. His refrigerator will be stocked with snacks and his medication. He’ll have all the essential phone numbers in his phone and medical documents needed in case of an emergency. Helping him prepare is a testament to our love and care for him.

Then I’ll kiss him goodbye. Of course, that won’t last forever; he may even want to come home the following weekend, and that would be fine! But this moment will symbolize his growth and resilience, his victory over the worst of what hemophilia with an inhibitor brought to his life. This moment will be the start of the rest of his life.

The National Bleeding Disorders Foundation has a Transition Task Force, which developed age-specific questions for parents and patients to review as they transition through stages of life.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.