Holy Week brought back memories of the power of kindness

Thirteen years ago, when my youngest son, Caeleb, was 7, he suffered a horrible spontaneous internal bleeding episode in his right knee, a complication of hemophilia. His right knee and ankle were target joints, meaning they were susceptible to frequent bleeding. This proved to be one of his most difficult hospital stays, as it took several days to relieve his unbearable pain.

My boy felt like thousands of needles were penetrating his knee repeatedly. No matter how much pain medication he was given, his body did not respond. My wife, Cazandra, and I tried everything we could to comfort him, but nothing seemed to help; he just lay in his hospital bed crying and screaming. Even though it felt like our nerves were about to break, we stood by his bed, trying everything we could think of to give him a respite from the pain.

At the same time, I felt the pressure of my job as a pastor, as we had scheduled a special service during Holy Week (the week leading up to Easter in the Christian tradition) where we’d demonstrate our willingness to serve by washing each other’s feet. Given the nature of this service, I couldn’t ask someone to take over my position, so Cazandra planned to stay with Caeleb at the hospital while I went to church.

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The night before the service, Caeleb’s bleeding finally stopped. As he regained his composure, we all felt a wave of relief. Nothing could’ve made me happier than seeing our son sitting upright in bed, challenging me to a mad game of Super Mario Kart. I couldn’t beat that boy, no matter how hard I tried — and I did try. His laughter replaced the tears that once filled the room.

The next day, our hematologist walked into the hospital room and told us that Caeleb could go home. We couldn’t believe our luck. Cazandra and I could preside over the foot-washing service together, as we’d originally planned. The only thing we had to do was keep Caeleb in a wheelchair, as he experienced pain when he tried to put pressure on his leg. We agreed and hurried out of the hospital and to the church, where we had 30 minutes to set up for the service.

I am grateful for acts of kindness

When it was time for people to come forward, sit down, take off their shoes, and put their feet in the basin of water, I could see Caeleb moving his wheelchair through the line. My first thought was, “Yikes! I should have told him to stay put before the service.” The last thing I wanted was to see him struggle up the stairs to sit in front of the basin.

I’m glad I didn’t say anything. When it was Caeleb’s turn, Cazandra held the wheelchair still while I gathered my mighty son up in my arms. I didn’t know what to say as my emotions took over. What could I tell this incredibly brave boy, who didn’t deserve the pain and complications he experienced? I placed him in the chair and found a clean towel to dry his feet with after I was done.

As I moved back to Caeleb, one of his friends turned and said, “I want to wash Caeleb’s feet.” He quickly ran up to the basin where my son had placed his tiny feet and said, “Caeleb, I am washing your feet, because you are my best friend. I want you to feel better and stay out of the hospital.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I hugged the amazing boy whose act of kindness had knocked us all to our knees. After he’d finished washing my son’s feet, I picked Caeleb up and placed him in his wheelchair. I recognized how fortunate we all were to experience our children’s amazing gifts. Their kindness can transform us into more hopeful people.

During Holy Week last week, I reflected on our experience in the hospital and at that church service so many years ago. I am full of gratitude for my amazing son and our parishioners.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.