Why someone else’s weight struggles are a private matter

What would you rather do: have a day to relax all to yourself, or eat whatever you want and not gain weight?

Many of us have seen memes asking similar questions. To be honest, until this summer, I would occasionally answer them without much thought. But after facing struggles with superior mesenteric artery syndrome, I now realize how insensitive such questions can be.

In our society, many people struggle with weight gain and finding their way back to better health and nutrition. I was definitely among them. For years, I would exercise for up to 90 minutes a day, consume about 1,600 calories mostly from nutritious foods, and still struggle to achieve and maintain my ideal body weight.

I have previously written about the importance of maintaining a healthy weight for people with hemophilia. Extra weight can put significant pressure on our joints, which can lead to or worsen joint bleeds. The additional pounds can also weigh heavily on us emotionally. It creates a vicious cycle; when mobility is limited due to an injury that involves bleeding, gaining weight becomes easier. I’ve certainly been there.

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Now, I find myself on the other side of the weight struggle, and it feels quite strange. I’m currently consuming between 2,000 and 2,500 calories a day but am barely maintaining my weight. It’s incredibly frustrating.

My goal was to gain back some of the weight I lost, but no matter how hard I try to drink caloric beverages, I can barely hold on. When I step on the scale and see my weight has decreased, discouragement sets in. How can this happen when I’m working so hard to prevent it? What more can I do?

Going through this experience has made it clear that being able to eat or drink whatever you want without gaining weight is not an enviable position when health issues are involved. It can be frightening to watch the weight drop without a clear understanding of the cause. It’s even more daunting when you understand the issue yet still fail to achieve the desired outcome. Whether one is underweight or overweight, weight struggles can be significant.

Along similar lines, a person once complimented me on how skinny I am. I immediately responded, “This isn’t by choice; I cannot eat solid food.” Speaking up without fear is empowering. I now recognize that I wouldn’t choose this situation — it’s not luck. What I truly desire is to regain my healthy body as soon as possible.

Since then, we have become friends and even laugh about our first conversation. This experience highlights a crucial point: We should be cautious about commenting on anyone’s weight, regardless of whether they have gained, lost, or are anywhere on the spectrum of health. Such matters are best addressed between the individual and their medical provider.

I no longer want to eat anything I desire without gaining weight. My new goal is to be healthy. I want to have the energy to dance and hike like I used to, and I no longer take that for granted.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.