People often assume that loving someone with hemophilia — and in my husband’s case, epilepsy, too — must come with endless patience, unshakable optimism, and the kind of soft, gentle pity we reserve for those we imagine can’t carry their own weight. But mine is a different kind of…
HemoWife — Allyx Formalejo
Allyx Formalejo, or Cza, is a writer, entrepreneur, and digital marketer based in Marikina, Philippines. She is married to Jared, who has severe hemophilia B and a seizure disorder. They have a young daughter and two other “babies” — a dog and a cat. Cza herself is diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar II disorder. This allows her to offer a unique perspective on navigating various aspects of young adult life (e.g. relationships, career, and parenting) with chronic health conditions. In her free time, she enjoys collecting fountain pens, supporting small businesses, traveling across the country, and exploring local cafes. She continues to blog like most 90s kids did in the Internet’s early years, sharing her thoughts and interesting discoveries on her personal website, czaofalltrades.com.
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I’ve written before about not seeing myself as a caregiver in the traditional sense. For us caregivers, hemophilia doesn’t usually demand round-the-clock care. My husband, Jared, manages his condition independently. He infuses. He monitors his body. He makes decisions about risk and rest. My role on most days is…
My husband, Jared, and I both have marketing backgrounds. We’re used to thinking in terms of value. In branding, you ask: What makes this product worth noticing? What problem does it solve? Why should people care? It’s strange to apply that mindset to something like hemophilia. But when you…
The other day, I found an old document from my husband Jared’s last hospital stay — the one after his freak accident on a pool slide. I’d written about it before, but seeing the discharge papers brought it all back. The memory feels a little funny to us now…
I recently came across a social media post that hit home. It began: “Never judge someone with a chronic illness if they …” and went on to list things like skipping meds, eating foods that might trigger symptoms, resting all day, or even doing something that looks “wrong”…
My husband, Jared, doesn’t need a gym anymore, or dumbbells, or fancy machines. These days, all he needs is the floor, a bit of space, and his body. He still loves the gym and would gladly pick up free weights when the opportunity arises, but there’s something quietly powerful about…
Living with hemophilia and epilepsy has shaped much of my husband’s life — but fatherhood transformed it. Before our daughter was born, Jared, my husband, already carried the weight of two chronic conditions. He’d long made peace with a life of calculated risks, limited physical activity, and the unpredictability…
My husband, Jared, lives with hemophilia B and a seizure disorder. He also lifts weights, performs bodyweight workouts, and swims. Now and then, someone will see him doing laps in the pool and ask, “Are you a professional?” To which he responds, “No, the water just loves me more.
When my husband, Jared, was growing up, people in his community didn’t always speak kindly about mobility aids. Crutches, wheelchairs, and canes were often seen as signs of helplessness, things you turned to only when you’d run out of options. That perception stayed with him well into adulthood. He did…
My husband, Jared, has been performing his factor infusions for his hemophilia B for over three years now. In that span of time, he’s learned so much — not just about veins, syringes, and technique, but also about his body and his limits. Infusing factor IX has become…
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be an expert. In my work as a virtual marketer and strategist, the word gets used all the time. People in my profession are expected to act like we know exactly what we’re doing. We’re told to speak with…
I recently stumbled across a passage on social media referring to relationships: “If you want a garden? Take care of it. You want love? Love them.” Something about those simple words struck a chord with me. Instinctively, I forwarded it to my husband, Jared. “This is exactly why I’ve been…
I’ve been writing about life with my husband, Jared, who has severe hemophilia B and epilepsy, for many years now. In doing so, I’d often refer to myself as a caregiver in passing. But here’s something that might surprise you: This column is the first time I’m openly…
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