Our daughter changing schools has brought our family new routines

My husband, Jared, and I are navigating another significant life transition. Our daughter, Cittie, is now on her second week of kindergarten, which marks the official start of formal schooling here in the Philippines. This transition is even more pronounced because we’ve moved her from a traditional school to a Montessori school.

While Cittie thrived in her former school, making many friends and excelling academically, we noticed that some aspects of the environment didn’t align with her learning style. The traditional school structure included daily homework, which often clashed with Cittie’s natural inclination to learn through play. This observation led us to explore options that could better suit her needs.

We’ve always been curious about the Montessori method, even before becoming parents. The hands-on learning approach and emphasis on real-world skills resonated with us. As parents with disabilities — Jared with hemophilia B and a seizure disorder and me with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and bipolar II disorder — we prioritize raising a child who’s capable and independent. We want Cittie to navigate the world successfully, relying not just on book smarts, but also on practical life skills.

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August 31, 2020 Columns by Alliah Czarielle

Establishing a Routine for Our Toddler’s Stability

Adjusting to a new schedule

Summer allowed Cittie the freedom to play endlessly with her cousin, who lives next door. The return to school, however, meant reestablishing routines, which comes with its own challenges — especially in a household where one parent has hemophilia. With the condition, sudden-onset bleeds and factor infusions make occasional schedule interruptions inevitable.

During the summer, our schedules were more relaxed, with no set bedtimes or early wake-up calls. Cittie often stayed up late, matching our own schedules as we worked into the evening. But now that school has resumed, we’ve had to adjust to early mornings again, as Cittie’s Montessori school starts at 8 a.m. Jared usually wakes up to prepare her food and more while I sleep a bit longer to ensure I’m alert enough to drive her to school.

Despite the new school being closer to our home, its increased costs have made this transition a bit more challenging.

Last year we opted for Cittie to use a school bus, an added expense that nonetheless allowed us more time to relax and focus on work. This year, however, we chose not to go with a bus because of the Montessori school’s higher tuition costs. We believe that investing in Cittie’s education and future is worth every penny, even if it means adjusting our routines and managing the drop-offs ourselves.

Following routines when a parent has hemophilia

Studies show that children thrive on routines. They value predictability and the comfort of familiar patterns. Routines help children build trust by showing them that their world is safe and stable.

Maintaining a consistent routine can be difficult, however, when one parent has a chronic condition such as hemophilia. Jared’s illness means he has days when he can’t get out of bed because of a bleed. On those days, I take over all the tasks, from preparing Cittie’s school things to handling bedtime routines, often while juggling my own work. All I ask is that Jared take over some of my work, as he can easily do it from a bed or desk.

If Jared feels a bleed coming on late at night, that can also disrupt our carefully planned schedules. Bedtime might be pushed till later, and our morning routine may suffer as a result. Fortunately, Cittie is understanding and independent enough to adapt when these situations arise. She’s old enough to play on her own and knows that her dad’s factor infusions are crucial for his well-being.

As we continue adjusting to our new routines, we’re reminded that interruptions are our normal, and we need to accept that our routine can’t be perfect. Every day brings new learning and adaptation. While it can be challenging, there’s a bright side: It’s teaching Cittie to be flexible. Like many kids her age, she might protest occasionally, but she’s surprisingly good at accepting that she can’t always get what she wants — and that’s OK. We’re certain this adaptability will serve her well as she grows.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.