As a Parent, I Must Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words
As a pastor, I always remind my parishioners that it’s not enough to profess one’s faith. A person must live out the tenets of what they believe. In other words, talk is cheap. It doesn’t do a person any good to shout their love for God on Sunday and act like the devil the rest of the week. The proof of spiritual transformation occurs mainly in how someone lives their life.
I believe we can find similar lessons in parenthood. I think of the times I failed my boys, who have hemophilia, and let my anger get the best of me. In my darkest moments, kindness was unable to make its presence known. My actions didn’t demonstrate love, but rather anger and fear. In my worst moments, I failed to be my sons’ champion.
After struggling to treat their hemophilia, I often took my boys aside and apologized for getting upset. I reiterated to them that my No. 1 goal was to infuse the clotting agent they needed to heal. I apologized that my frustration spoke louder than my concern for them. The conversation ended on a more upbeat note as I checked my behavior once more. Finally, I hugged my sons to remind them that they’re the greatest gift ever given to me.
Whenever I struggle with my actions, I remember that negative reinforcement pushes my sons away. Attempting to calm my crying sons fails if my anxiety remains off the charts. I must use techniques such as prayer, meditation, and taking a moment to breathe to restore my sanity. I must remember that cooler heads prevail.
Many times, I’ve had to discipline my boys and redirect their behavior. But I’ve always tried to guide them back to a path where they can excel and grow in wisdom and strength. Through every moment, my goal has been to demonstrate that nothing on this earth is more significant than the love I have for my wife and my mighty sons. Together, we can accomplish anything.
When the dark clouds of hemophilia come, we can slay the dragons known as soft tissue, muscle, and joint bleeds. When I remember to leave my attitude at the door and focus on my sons’ needs, I find power and hope. When I banish anger from the room, we find ways to defeat bleeding disorder complications. Love can conquer all, and hope finds its way into our souls.
Maintaining a positive image 24/7 is not an easy task. I often fail and must remember to gather my thoughts and feelings when approaching issues that cause me anxiety. To maintain a cool head, I constantly reexamine my stress levels and find ways to redirect my thoughts and behavior. When I am at my absolute worst, I leave the room and count to 10. Simply taking a few seconds helps me stop and regroup. Then, I reenter the room with a completely different mindset.
As I talk with my congregants, I know that I must listen to my own advice and ensure my actions reveal my love for my family and those in my care. I remind my church members that none of us is perfect. The important thing is that we continue to strive toward perfection. I must act with more grace to demonstrate what I say I believe.
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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