Memento mori, memento vivere: Reflections on life and death
A goth piece of jewelry reminds a columnist to seize each day
I recently received an intriguing piece of jewelry in the mail. It’s a prototype of a design I hope to sell someday. But I loved it so much that I wanted one for myself. The design is rather goth-themed, featuring a coffin-cut black onyx gem in the center flanked by two leafy vines. The interplay of life and death in a single piece fascinates me while also sending shivers down my spine.
This piece reminds me of the Latin phrase Memento mori, memento vivere, meaning: Remember you will die; therefore, remember to live. My husband, Jared, embodies this concept as someone with hemophilia and epilepsy. He had several near-death experiences as a child, including a brain hemorrhage that left him with seizures and a life-threatening bout of sepsis from a tainted blood transfusion.
These experiences made Jared cherish life more. They remind him to savor every moment, appreciate every circumstance, seize new opportunities, and occasionally take risks. To him, every moment is precious, even the mundane ones. Of course, not all days are equal for Jared. Some are tough because of his chronic conditions, but he wakes up each day with a renewed sense of purpose and a willingness to embrace life again.
Carpe diem
Alliah Czarielle’s new ring reminds her to seize the day. (Photo by Alliah Czarielle)
A related concept is carpe diem, which was popularized by the movie “Dead Poets Society” and, before then, Saul Bellow’s novel “Seize the Day.” It reminds us to make the most of our time. This phrase has a special relevance to Jared, who often jokes about “seizing” the day because of his seizure disorder.
Despite the humor, Jared’s high level of self-awareness and acceptance of his condition show maturity. He confronts his challenges without letting them define him, saying, “This is my normal. This is my life, and I know of nothing else. I will live with it, and I will make the best of what skills and talents I have.”
Reframing the idea of death
For many, including myself, the thought of death can be scary and difficult to process. Yet I hope to challenge this feeling by studying and reframing my perspective. Mexican culture offers a unique view with Día de los Muertos” (Day of the Dead), a holiday honoring loved ones who have passed. They create colorful altars with the deceased’s favorite things, celebrating their lives. This tradition teaches us to see the light in death, however difficult it may be.
Death doesn’t only refer to the end of life. Throughout our lives, we undergo constant cycles of life and rebirth. We must let go of old versions of ourselves to become our truest selves. I’m not the same person I was as a young, idealistic teenager. My experiences have made me more realistic, yet I strive to remain hopeful. Jared has also reinvented himself, becoming more independent and working on his weaknesses. His dedication to a good quality of life remains constant, as does his drive to make the best of each day.
Embracing the concept of memento mori, memento vivere helps us appreciate every moment and find joy even in adversity. For Jared and me, it’s a reminder that life’s fragility makes it all the more precious. By valuing each day and continuing to do the things we love, even with our health conditions, we can lead fulfilling lives and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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