My son’s small gift provided me with lasting strength and security
Julian’s simple offering brought comfort during difficult times with hemophilia
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When my oldest son, Julian, was 6, he started a ritual whenever I traveled away from home: He selected a small stuffed animal from his collection and placed it in my suitcase. When I asked why he had given me the toy, he responded, “Because I don’t want you to be lonely while you are away, Daddy.” I smiled and thanked him for his gift.
For reasons I couldn’t fully explain, I enjoyed carrying a small memento from home. Perhaps Julian wanted to remind me that although my job required me to travel, my family held the most important part of my heart. Or maybe he wanted me to feel connected to him and his mom while I was away. Whatever his reason, I loved how deeply he cared for his family — and, as I later came to understand, how much he wanted me to recognize his growing independence.
The gifts carried a meaning that most of us couldn’t see at the time: Each treasure in my suitcase reflected the confidence Julian was developing. Even at a young age, he had the courage to help his mom find a good vein for his infusions and was learning to self-infuse. Hemophilia did not hold our family back.
Julian’s gifts gave me a sense of security, but so did knowing that my wife, Cazandra, was a formidable force who helped our boy when times grew tough. Her confidence and unwavering support gave us all strength when we needed it most. Her fearlessness empowered us to rise above our concerns and face difficult situations head-on. I never worried about leaving town because I knew Julian had his strongest supporter in his mom.
One experience during a music conference showed me just how well Julian and Cazandra could face a crisis together.
Cazandra shows her strength
While I was out of town at a music conference, Cazandra called to tell me that Julian needed to go to the emergency room because of a bleed in the soft tissue of his left hand. I offered to fly home and meet them at the hospital, but she assured me that they would be all right. When I asked what had happened, she said he had probably struck his hand hard on a table, causing it to swell to the size of a baseball. Rather than wait in the emergency room, she reached out to the specialists who knew how to treat him.
Cazandra called our hemophilia treatment center, and the operator advised her to leave the emergency room and bring Julian to the center, where a nurse could treat him. She quickly called me back with an update. After she followed the instructions, Julian received the factor VIII medication he needed within five minutes. Cazandra reassured me, “Don’t worry, Papa. We’ve got this.”
Julian chimed in. “Yeah, Daddy. Mom and I know what to do. Are you holding the gift I left in your suitcase?” I said no, but promised to hold it when I returned to my room. He replied, “You won’t be scared anymore because the stuffed bear will protect you and keep you calm.”
Later, when I returned to my room and held the small gift in my hands, it embodied the unbreakable bond of family. No matter how far away I traveled, my family’s love and trust remained beside me. Julian’s simple offering gave me something tangible to hold while reminding me of his determination to care for himself and comfort his mother and me.
Recently, Julian, now 30, and I talked about the gifts he loaned me when I traveled out of town. He laughed and said, “Man, was I a dorky kid.” I told him his kindness was amazing and that I appreciated every little critter I found in my suitcase. I said, “Son, your love for me gave me more strength than you could ever imagine.”
Julian said, “I love you, Dad.”
I replied, “I love you, too, son.”
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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