Remembering the time all seemed lost and we found a sprig of hope

In winter, when the trees no longer hold their leaves, and the cold and shorter days can make us feel like something has been lost, we can find in the peculiar evergreens a contrast to all those feelings of hopelessness. There is life still growing amid all that lifeless darkness, and if we look hard enough, we can see its presence all around us.

One holiday season, when my youngest son, Caeleb, was much younger, he was hospitalized, unable to resolve an internal bleeding episode in his right knee. His medical team tried everything they could to stop the bleeding, but nothing seemed to work. We hoped we would be home in time to celebrate the holidays at our kitchen table.

But it wasn’t to be. Our home for the holidays became a hospital room on the sixth floor in the special pediatric wing of the University of New Mexico Hospital. The shock of Caeleb’s bleed and hospitalization gave way to despair as we prepared ourselves for an extended and dark stay in a place that seemed uninviting, one that lacked the warmth of colored lights and stockings hanging from our mantel. This was not the scene we wanted.

My wife, Cazandra, and I were sitting in Caeleb’s room one night when she suddenly said, “I have an idea. I need to run to the store quickly. I’ll be right back.” With a determined look on her face, she was quickly up and out the door.

I looked at Caeleb and told him Santa might be a little late with his delivery this year. He mustered a brave face and said, “It’s OK, Daddy. I know that Santa will meet us when I get home.” I told him he could count on a special delivery from the great man from the North Pole.

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Celebrating the season

A few hours had passed when my wife walked in the door and said, “I have special surprises for my mighty men.” She had brought along our oldest son, Julian, who was carrying about three bags filled with special treats — twinkling lights, a small Christmas tree, and other assorted things to put us in a festive mood. “We won’t let a bleeding disorder ruin our holidays,” she said.

I didn’t know what to say as I watched the boys laugh and decorate Caeleb’s hospital bed with lights. I hoped that having this opportunity to make merry might help redirect Caeleb’s thoughts when his pain got worse.

Cazandra put the tiny tree on a table and hung ornaments and lights from it.

This wasn’t the room or the people from an hour ago. The doom and gloom were swept away as joy filled the air. Yes, we still had to stay in the hospital throughout the holiday season, but that didn’t stop us from celebrating. Life goes on and what we do with the time we share with our loved ones gives us a chance to continually renew our spirits with hope.

Caeleb is almost 19 now and Julian is 28, and they remember spending that holiday in the hospital. Cazandra and I are celebrating the gift of another season and we share the story as a reminder that we can triumph over anything.

In the darkest time of the year, when the wind howls and there appears to be no life on the trees, we can still find life on the branches of evergreen trees. They remind me of the time, years earlier, when we found ourselves in the darkness of a hospital room and filled it with joy, thanksgiving, and hope.

Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.