The ‘write a letter to myself’ trend hit me hard as a hemophilia wife
I asked an AI tool to write me a note, and the results were eye-opening
Written by |
Lately, I’ve been seeing a trend on social media where people ask artificial intelligence (AI) tools to write them a letter. Usually, the prompts are deeply personal. People ask for letters from their future selves, their inner child, or versions of themselves they feel disconnected from after grief, burnout, heartbreak, or major life changes.
Out of curiosity, I tried out this prompt as someone married to a person with severe hemophilia B and epilepsy. What came out of it made me realize how much of my personality, routines, fears, and nervous system had reorganized themselves around chronic illness without me fully noticing.
Loving someone with hemophilia changes you — often so gradually you may not immediately realize it’s happening.
One part of my letter read:
“You learned to assess situations so quickly that hypervigilance eventually started feeling like your personality.”
The loneliness of not having the condition
There’s also a strange loneliness in being “the healthy one” (or in my case, the less-afflicted one, as I also manage my own mental health conditions). Your life is deeply shaped by illness, but the diagnosis is not yours. So sometimes you feel guilty for being tired and feeling overwhelmed by the costs, schedules, paperwork, waiting rooms, constant low-level calculations, and mental bandwidth that chronic illness consumes over the years.
“You sometimes felt guilty for being tired because technically the condition was not yours to carry.”
And yet proximity to illness changes a person. You become more aware of how fragile normal life actually is. You learn to celebrate uneventful days in a way other people might not fully understand. “Nothing happened today” starts feeling less like the default and more like a gift.
Building a life outside survival mode
When your husband lives with conditions like hemophilia, epilepsy, and even something as disruptive as a recovering hand burn, it’s easy to slip into survival mode. You become so focused on preventing disaster that you forget you’re still allowed to build an ordinary life outside of crisis management.
“A life cannot survive as one long emergency room.”
You are still allowed to care about beauty, ambition, romance, humor, work, creativity, and joy. You are allowed to talk about workouts, business strategy, air conditioners, vintage lamps, or ridiculous TikTok trends while still being deeply affected by chronic illness. Those things do not make you shallow. They make you human.
The letter also reminded me:
“You were allowed to build a life bigger than fear.”
That realization was probably the most emotional part of the exercise for me.
Another part of the letter read:
“You were never just a caregiver standing on the sidelines of someone else’s illness. You were a woman building a life beside another human being. He just happened to be born into a body that bruises, bleeds, seizes, aches, and occasionally betrays him.
“And somehow, despite all of that, the two of you still found laughter.”
That part stayed with me because it felt true.
This wasn’t the polished, inspirational version of chronic illness that people sometimes expect from caregivers or partners. It was simply the truth: that this life can be exhausting, frightening, absurd, loving, frustrating, and deeply human all at once.
A letter to yourself
If you’re a fellow “HemoWife” — or the partner of someone living with a bleeding disorder — I genuinely encourage you to try this exercise yourself.
Open your AI tool of choice and write:
“Write a letter to myself as the partner of someone living with hemophilia.”
Then see what surfaces.
If you’re not into AI, you can also write a letter by hand. Jot down whatever honest thoughts come to mind without worrying about having to do it perfectly. That works, too!
What you discover might surprise you. Feel free to share yours in the comments!
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
Leave a comment
Fill in the required fields to post. Your email address will not be published.