When the son with hemophilia becomes the caregiver to his father
Caeleb showed me how to walk with a cane, and not be self-conscious about it
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I woke up on Saturday morning and struggled to stand upright.
My back had given out, and I could hardly take a step forward. Sunday morning was no better, but I had to prepare for worship, so I was determined to get dressed, get to church, and fulfill my duties in the pulpit. Afterward, my wife, Cazandra, took me to an emergency care facility, where they treated me and gave me medication to help me regain strength and stay comfortable during my recovery.
I still do not know how in the world I made it to church on Sunday, but my youngest son, Caeleb, who has had many mobility challenges of his own in his life with hemophilia, shared much good advice, and his instructions proved useful as I managed my back pain. Some of his advice even seemed familiar.
A little help for the caregiver
Caeleb, who is home from college for summer break, reminded me that when pain from bleeds in his right knee and ankle overwhelmed him, he applied heat, then ice, to the affected area. It’s amazing how much the swelling goes down and how even temporary relief can make a difference. Even that slight relief helped me stand up, get dressed, and face whatever came my way.
My son also gave me pointers on how to use a cane. “Dad, I am going to teach you the best way to hold the cane,” he said. At first, I did not want to hear his instructions. “It’s just a cane, for heaven’s sake. All you need to do is put down the part that belongs on the floor and use the blessed thing,” I thought to myself. But Caeleb showed me that I needed to put the cane in the opposite hand from the side that hurts, and that, when I’m walking, I needed to move it in step with the injured side.
He clearly knew his stuff.
My son also reminded me not to be self-conscious about using a cane. I was prepared to use it to move around the house, but I drew the line at using it elsewhere. “I would never use a cane in public,” I thought, until I realized I might need it at church. I could not imagine sitting through the church service, only to be unable to stand on my own when it came time to deliver my sermon and needing help getting out of my seat.
Caeleb also emphasized the importance of being consistent with my pain medication. He even quoted me. “Dad, do you remember when you found out that I was not always taking my Hemlibra on the right day?” he asked. “I’m telling you the same thing. Unless you would like to continue hurting and not be able to care for yourself.” That sure sounded like something I used to say to him.
“All right! All right!” I laughed.
I am very glad I took Caeleb’s advice as I recovered from my back issues. I discovered that what I had once said to him was just as useful when it was said to me. It made me realize that my wife and I had helped shape him into an expert on his own body, and that his own experience with pain could help him be a caregiver, too.
Note: Hemophilia News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Hemophilia News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to hemophilia.
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